i don't really have much to say. but i hate how we're letting this die... watch, this is going to be the only post in march. just you wait... unless i get bored like i am now and write whatever i want.

so it's really sunny outside and i wanna go on a bike ride... but it's also really chilly (stupid wind). blek. today i had to take my brother his tux shirt for some choir thing at the high school. and after i dropped it off i went to lunch with a friend that i haven't been able to chill with for some time. she was recently sick not that long ago too. it was fun though. we laughed a lot and it was really good to see her.

also, when i showed up at the high school Mason gave me such a huge hug. (him and his long pony tail.) we didn't talk much. just said hi then i left. but his hug was amazing. i love that boy so much. he's like my brother.

hmmm.... what else can i ramble about... uh um uh umm... so there's a lot going on between the five of us (cait, liz, william, james, and i). one thing is that william has decided not to go on a mission anymore. and it's been hard for james to accept that. i know me and liz support his decision, but i'm not sure about cait's opinion. i'm hoping she supports him also. but his decision has caused a lot of grief. also, liz thinks her being with william is messing a lot of things up. liz, i'm happy for you two. you guys deserve to be happy. i don't know if will told you, but i told him what's been bothering me lately. being around two couples ALL the time really takes a toll on my emotional stability. i'm happy for you two. i always will be. you guys are two of my best friends and i love seeing you guys so happy all the time. but if you were in my situation, you'd feel the same. and i totally didn't mean to talk about myself. i'm sick of talking about myself. but all this is just spilling out.

i think i'm done talking now. i said more than i planned to. love you two.

cass...

...

I don't really feel like saying much. But yeah. Love you guys.

Caiti.

To Cass

I'm so sorry Cassie. I've been so focused on things with William. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you lately. I understand that it would be difficult to be around all of us... I truly hope that you don't leave us... Please tell me if you just need time to hang out without the boys. I will. You're one of my best friends. I want to be there for you when you need me like you've been there for me so many times. Keep your head up. You're worth so much and you're going to find a man that knows that and loves you. Please let me know if you need ANYTHING.
Love you, sis.

~a raggedy ann in a Barbie doll world
Elizabeth

this is weird

man... i haven't posted in forever. things have been so weird. so many times i'll say i'm over scott... but then i realize i'm not. i miss the friend i once had. that's what i miss most. not the kisses (well sorta...), not the hugs, or the spooning (lol), i miss having him as a friend. and i've tried to be friends with him. but it's too painful. i just don't know what to do. i've decided to just let whatever happen, happen. i had an interview with a counselor in the stake presidency this past sunday and he told me something. something i've been blind about, something i've needed to hear for some time now. he told me, "don't settle cassie. there is someone out there for you. someone who wants to help you become the best person you can be. marry above you. your future spouse will NEVER bring you down. i've been married a long time and my wife has NEVER said or done anything to bring me down. your husband will be the one to constantly help you become a better person." what he said to me really hit home. i've been so upset about everything. but i have a feeling things are going to get better.

i love you two, but sometimes it's hard for me to hang out with you guys and william and james. i'm sure you guys would feel the same if you were the one that was constantly fifth wheel. it hurts a lot. i don't want to stop doing things with you guys. but i don't know how much longer my heart can take it. the constant reminder that i lost something so precious. i'm sorry if i start to act stupid and depressed around you guys. but i can't be strong always. i'm only human.

i really do love you cait and liz. you two have helped me so much these months. more than i thought possible. and i thank you for that.

love forever and always,
~cass.

Oops.

I just realized I typed site instead of sight. Whoops. *bashful grin*

The slightly distracted
Caiti

To Liz.

Well I kinda blew up at him Sunday night, when I went off to write something in the snow and he followed. He hasn't noticed he'd been acting weird, and I don't know if he's still entirely sure about what's going on. But I did tell him, I guess all I can do is wait and see how it turns out. Nothing else I can do, or is there? I dunno.

Well off to chase my silly puppy who's decided to eat everything in site.

Caiti.

New Year

Well, Caiti said it. I'm dating William. Things are really great for us, and we don't really know why, but it's just working. A while back we tried dating and it ended really badly for both of us. So it's a surprise to have it work so well and have things happen so easily. It's really not difficult to fall in love with your best friend, and if you ever get the opportunity, go ahead. ;)
Caiti- You need to talk to him. I know that this whole thing is probably a misunderstanding and he probably doesn't even know that he's making you upset. You guys have been together for too long to have communication problems now.

~The twitterpated raggedy ann in a Barbie doll world
Elizabeth