... ?

sometimes i'm glad i didn't start school. just the thought of all that homework makes me shudder. most the time i don't even want to go back. but i know scott wouldn't like that. ..... but he's supposed to like me for who i am, right? i honestly don't know what to do with that boy anymore. i swear sometimes it's like he has a multiple personality. and when i'm doing things with liz, cait, william, and james, like going to a certain movie, he'll belittle me. he'll make me feel like i'm not choosing the right thing to do. and he'll make me feel guilty for what i'm doing. but he's so hypocritical he doesn't even know it! gah. i just don't know. i still love him. but it's so frustrating. david, his best friend, or i should say FORMER best friend can't stand scott anymore. even scott's best friend is finding it hard to be around him! maybe it's that new 'sister' of his, kami, that's affecting him this way. but i wouldn't want to tell him to forget about her cuz he's too darn caring. geez i'm bitter. i'm just sick of him thinking what i do isn't good enough for him. FACE IT SCOTT, WE ALL HAVE FAULTS! EVEN YOU!!!

*deep breath* alright. i think i'm better now. i needed a good venting. usually it's easier to vent to someone who can give me advise right away but right now i just want all this crap out of my brain. it's sorta like writing in my journal. but this way millions of people can read it. bah. who cares.

oh! another thing that's been driving me to the point of murder is freakin william! gah! so, i've been bashing on him a lot lately, just cuz i can, and cuz i've needed to take my anger out. and honestly, i thought he could've taken it. but i guess not. i guess he's more weak than he likes to show, cuz he got all offended and started ignoring me. I HATE BEING IGNORED!!! i wanted to strangle that kid so many times! you have no idea. he pissed me off SO much that day. i don't think i've been that angry in a long time. boys are so stupid...

anyway. that's pretty much what's been on my mind lately. yeah. i've been pretty angry. i'm not entirely sure why. i'm thinking it's cuz i missed church this week. but i don't know. i'm hoping it'll all go away soon...

~cass